- @NeedADebitCard: Tweeting a picture of your credit or debit card is a bad idea, nevertheless plenty of people seem to be doing it. This account ReTweets people who post such pictures as a means of teaching those less-than-intelligent purveyors of the Twittersphere a lesson.
Note: I blurred out the credit card information from the Tweet to be nice.
@PicturelessPins is exactly what it sounds like. Pictures posted on social network Pinterest are represented as humourous text-only descriptions.
An antique bathtub is now located in a refurbished barn
— PicturelessPinterest (@PicturelessPins) May 8, 2012
@textinstagram is not nearly as good as Pictureless Pintetest, but it necessary to make note of its Instagram counterpart. Text-Only Instagram has text representations of those photos your friends post with cheesy photo filters.
Non-circular object with jarring circular blur.
— Text-Only Instagram (@textinstagram) June 12, 2012
@GSElevator: Remember the accusation found in the resignation letter of Goldman Sachs employee Greg Smith? They are not so difficult to believe when you see some of these Tweets of things that were overheard in the elevator of Goldman Sachs.
#1: I feel like this economy has really hit the average-looking girls the hardest.
— GS Elevator Gossip (@GSElevator) October 2, 2012
@Lord_Voldemort7: What if the arch enemy of Harry Potter, Lord Voldemort, was a comedian that Tweeted?
Based on advertised outfits itseems that this Halloween the popular costume of choice will be ‘whorecrux.’
— The Dark Lord (@Lord_Voldemort7) October 5, 2012
@KimKierkegaard: The philosophy of Søren Kierkegaard mashed with the tweets and observations of Kim Kardashian.
I am weak, melancholy, soul-sick, profoundly a failure in many ways. But one thing was given to me. I’m down 6 lbs!!! Yay best feeling.
— KimKierkegaardashian (@KimKierkegaard) October 8, 2012
@Kantye_West: The Tweets of Kanye West are somehow combined with 18th Century Enlightenment Philosopher Immanuel Kant.
Pure reason is practical in itself &gives the man a universal law that allows him 2 say anything to anyone so long you put LOL at the end!
— KantyeWest (@Kantye_West) August 15, 2012
@Justin_Buber: Combining the pop stylings of Justin Bieber with the existential wisdom of philosopher Martin Buber.
I bear within me the sense of Self, that is not included in the world. I could be your Buzz Lightyear, fly across the globe.
— Justin Buber (@Justin_Buber) October 1, 2012
@YourAwayMessage: Once just as importan as your Facebook status, your 1990′s AIM away messages live on in spirit with this Twitter account.
ITz geTTiNg HOTT in hERE. S0 take oFF all your CL0THES! — your away message (@YourAwayMessage) October 6, 2012
@oldmansearch consists of what are supposedly the search queries of an 81 year-old man named Norman who was told that Twitter is how you search Google. The account is obviously not really the searches of an old man of course, but it is still hilarious.
Obama not born anywhere — Norman N. (@oldmansearch) May 31, 2012
@DRUNKHULK is that classic green Marvel Comics character that you wouldn’t normally like if he was angry. Only this Twitter version of the Hulk talks in the character as if he had a few to many at the bar while he critiques pop-culture, celebrities, news, and literature.
LADY GAGA VOMIT ON STAGE! DRUNK HULK HOPE SHE NO EAT BAD MEAT DRESS!
— DRUNK HULK (@DRUNKHULK) October 8, 2012
@RealTimeWWII tweets the events of World War 2 as if it were 1940 all over again (and there is such a thing as social media). This one isn’t so funny, but it is kind of a quirky concept.
As well as promising USA an empire, official Fascist paper Popolo d’Italia says America would “commit suicide” by joining Britain’s in war. — WW2 Tweets from 1940 (@RealTimeWWII) October 9, 2012
@StealthMountain is a Twitter bot that messages people when when they make the spelling error of “sneak peak” instead of “sneak peek”. This Twitter troll has yields some pretty funny responses.
@shitmydadsays is a highly successful Twitter account of comedian Justin Halpern, Tweeting things that his father (a man in his 70s without a verbal filter) says.
“No. Aliens exist, I just don’t think they came millions of light yearsjust to see earth. Be like driving 1000 miles to go to an Arby’s” — Justin (@shitmydadsays) January 25, 2011
@big_ben_clock is a Twitter representation of the famous clock tower in London, tweeting clock sounds on the hour.
BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG — Big Ben (@big_ben_clock) October 10, 2012
@DeathStarPR acts as a Public Relations agency acting on the behalf of the Empire (from Star Wars).
The simplest, most reasonable way to resolve your differences with somebody is a lightsaber battle to the death.
— Death Star PR (@DeathStarPR) October 10, 2012
@almightygod: What if God was a comedian and on Twitter?
#JesusChrist is trending. I’m so proud of my son… uh, I mean myself. Wait, is this pride? That’s against the rules.
— almightygod (@almightygod) September 11, 2012
@Mileys_Bun: Miley Cyrus got a new hair style, that hairstyle got it own punny Twitter account.
Is anyone else sweating their buns off today or is it just me? — Miley’s Bun (@Mileys_Bun) August 5, 2012
@shitgirlssay is another highly successful Twitter account representing the charicaturized statements of many girls.
Do I want sweet or savory?
— Shit Girls Say (@shitgirlssay) August 28, 2012
@God_Damn_Batman is a snarky Twitter representation of Batman.
Chicks in catsuits, am I right?
— The Batman (@God_Damn_Batman) October 8, 2012
Update Bonus Accounts to Follow (March 31, 2013):
- @YourOrYoure is another robot similar to @StealthMountain (see above). It parades around the twitterverse alerting users that they have used your improperly and should instead be using the contraction you’re.
[Wrong!] your the one i wanna marry <3 bit.ly/11VwPMM
— Your or You’re? (@YourOrYoure) February 6, 2013
- @PUA_txt takes real quotes from “pick-up artist” messageboard and tweets them. They are rather comical, but often NSFW.
I am not sure twitter is a great place to Meet Women…
— PUA.txt (@PUA_txt) January 6, 2013
- @SeinfeldToday answers the question of “What if Seinfeld were still on the air”? Tweets are lines from Seinfeld characters facing the “real-life” situations we all know and love, but reflecting current times.
Kramer opens a speakeasy in his apartment JERRY:”Why a speakeasy? Bars are legal. Just go to a bar!” KRAMER:”You don’t get cool, Jerry!”
— Modern Seinfeld (@SeinfeldToday) January 29, 2013
- @EveryTweet_Ever mocks typical twitter users and typical tweets.
YAY WE AVOIDED A FINANCIAL CRISIS THAT I NEVER COMPLETELY UNDERSTOOD
— Every Tweet Ever (@EveryTweet_Ever) January 2, 2013
What Twitter accounts make you laugh? Post them in the comments below. I’d love to know.